Halloween films might have to compete with Jerome Powell since he could be this month’s biggest slasher. The Federal Reserve is widely expected to cut interest rates this week after recently released government data showed inflation isn’t as high as many feared.

The report, released on Friday, showed inflation cooled faster than many expected, keeping the Fed on track to cut interest rates when it meets on Wednesday. Per the report:

While inflation went down… prices went up. Coffee and beef prices are up 19% and 15% over the past year, thanks to weather disruptions. Bananas are also 5.4% more expensive since April, gardening services cost 14% more, and car repairs are 12% pricier than last year.

The Fed has mainly last week’s inflation report to guide Wednesday’s rate cut decision, since most economic data is on hold due to the government shutdown. But that doesn’t mean the odds are low:

Why are the odds so high? Well, the 3% inflation rate is still steadily above the Fed’s 2% goal, and slowing job growth is leading to what Fed Chair Jerome Powell called a “rising downside risks to employment.” While that doesn’t sound very pretty, the combination of cooling inflation and a softening labor market is exactly what the Fed looks for when leaning toward an interest rate cut.

Turns out stealing $100 million of jewels in broad daylight makes it hard to escape. After last Sunday’s burglary of crown jewels at the famed Paris museum, French authorities announced the capture of two suspects linked to the heist.

The capture of the two criminals comes just one week after a group of thieves performed a four-minute raid at the world’s most visited museum, where eight jewels from the country’s royal collection were stolen.

Authorities had reportedly been tracking the suspects in hopes of uncovering a wider criminal network, but after local media leaked that authorities were onto them, investigators had no choice but to move in early.

Well, the criminals clearly never read “How to Get Away With Robbery For Dummies,” because the first step certainly wouldn’t be to fly to a foreign country. According to French Police:

Investigators say they traced one of the suspects using DNA from a helmet left behind at the scene, along with dozens of other pieces of forensic evidence.

Will the Crown Jewels be recovered? Unfortunately, it’s not likely. Experts say fewer than one in ten stolen jewels are ever recovered, as most are melted down for their raw materials or snapped up by discreet, deep-pocketed buyers.

Regardless, Clippy will be in our hearts forever. Nearly 25 years after retiring its original paperclip assistant, Microsoft has unveiled something of a successor with its newest AI assistant, hoping to succeed where Clippy fell short.

Mico (pronounced “MEE-koh”), an animated, friendly blob, will be the new face of Microsoft’s Copilot and is now live in the US through the service’s voice mode:

What makes Mico different from a certain paperclip? Unlike Clippy, which many found intrusive and annoying in the late 1990s, Mico can actually be turned off and is focused on collaborative, productive interactions rather than constant pop-up tips.

Microsoft says that the bot is better than other competitors: Jacob Andreou, corporate vice president of product and growth for Microsoft AI, told the AP Mico is “useful, not creepy,” and “won’t confirm biases we already have.” The AP also noted that, unlike most of its rivals, Microsoft doesn’t rely on ad revenue, so it has (in theory) less of a reason to make the AI bot overly engaging.

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What could end an all-powerful emperor’s reign? In 1812, Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Russia with an army of roughly 600,000 troops. Fewer than 50,000 returned to France, devastated by battle, starvation, and disease.

Now, a new analysis of the ancient soldiers’ DNA has discovered what exactly killed most of the infamous general’s army.

In the study (see here), researchers analyzed the teeth of 13 French soldiers buried in a mass grave in Lithuania, using an advanced method called high-throughput sequencing, which can evaluate millions of DNA fragments at a time.

In the degraded DNA, scientists found something rather peculiar:

While experts held the assumption that disease played a large part in the army’s massive casualties, many of the deaths were attributed to typhus and trench fever, not the new bacteria found on the teeth of the fallen soldiers.

Now, researchers know many of the catastrophic losses were a result of multiple overlapping factors, including extreme cold, starvation, exhaustion, supply breakdowns, and a complex constellation of diseases.

So, what does this change? The study’s lead author, Rémi Barbieri, told CNN that “we just thought that there was one infectious disease that decimated the Napoleon army,” and the new research proves multiple pathogens were at play, reshaping our understanding of one of history’s deadliest campaigns.

So when are we getting the Nike Air Mags? The biggest footwear company in the world recently debuted ultramodern, futuristic-looking items in an attempt to garner some hype and get the company out of its sales slump.

Under the leadership of Chief Innovation, Design, and Product Officer Phil McCartney, the company is attempting to push the boundaries of athletic gear with rapid product development and science-backed innovation.

Designed to enhance both physical performance and mental focus, the new series is looking pretty sleek:

It’s all in the new motto: Nike’s new leadership is pushing to spark innovation amid sliding sales as the company’s stock has slid about 5% this year, on top of a nearly 30% drop in 2024. To try and motivate employees, Nike reportedly adopted a bold internal slogan, “Create Epic Shit, Make Athletes Better.”

> A lone wild black bear broke into Sequoia Park Zoo, spent time observing resident bears through a fence, and quietly left. The zoo called him “a very polite visitor.”

> Researchers in eastern Wyoming discovered 66 million-year-old dinosaur remains, including a duck-billed dinosaur, that were “mummified” by microorganisms.

> Only 19 US states had obesity rates at or above 35% this year, down from 23 states two years ago. It’s the first time the number has decreased since obesity rates have been recorded.

> OnlyFans, an adult content-sharing platform with over 375 million users, has paid out over $25 billion to its creators since its founding in 2016.

> A 13-year-old from California has invented an AI-powered fall-detection system called “FallGuard” that uses wall-mounted cameras to alert caregivers and costs just $90.